SLOW SLOW, QUIXALL'S SLOW

from THE SUN, December 30th 2000

WE Brits all love a good I loser. And racehorse Quixall Crossett has made an art form out of underachievement.

The 15-year-old chaser has run 98 times, never won and only been placed on seven occasions.

That's a record by as wide a margin as any of Quixy's defeats.

Yet he is the unlikeliest folk hero in this or any other sport.

He has his own fan club, a website which chronicles his every move and a newsletter - The High Crossett Herald.

More than 100 new computer buffs click on to his website every week.

And they include fans from Russia, Uruguay, China, France, Germany, Belgium, USA, Japan, Canada, New Zealand, Australia and Ireland.

Fans write poetry to him and on the racetrack they give him the sort of greeting normally reserved for boy bands.

The American ABC News Network have even made a documentary about him.

Quixy is the Eddie The Eagle of racing, having managed just two seconds and five thirds in his career.

A variety of trips in hugely varying company have been tried in an attempt to break his duck. To no avail.

But permit-holder trainer Ted Caine, a pig farmer from Bilsdale near Middlesbrough, has no thoughts of retiring him.

He said: "He's still enjoying himself and he loves going racing. Even though he gets so far behind in most of his races, he carries on at his own pace.

"The majority of horses would just grind to a halt.

"He doesn't get in anyone's way and it would be a pity to retire him. I don't think the old boy would be able to cope with just standing out in a field and having nothing to do."

Quixall Crossett even has supporters in the Jockey Club — and they don't like anybody.

Spokesman John Maxse insisted:

"The safety and welfare of horses and riders is our main concern.

"Quixall Crossett has shown he is not a liability to himself or others.

"By running he sometimes provides punters with each-way betting, so he is actually good for racing, not bad for it."

Picking the highlights of Quixy's career is like trying to get a Match Of The Day special from a goalless draw between Carlisle United and Exeter City.

In December 1998, he started at 500-1 in a field of five for the prestigious Tommy Whittle Chase at Haydock.

He finished two fences behind Suny Bay.

Graham Bradley was on board the popular grey and survived a terrible error in the back straight to win handily.

As the horses were led in Brad looked across at Quixy's jockey Gary Lyons and said: "Did you get the old bugger round?"

Lyons replied: "Yes, and he jumped better than yours as well!"

Quixy's regular partner has tapped into the good-natured humour of the horse's connections.

He was once teased by a rival after finishing a long last on Quixall:

"What took you so long?"

Lyons bounced back with: "We stopped to check the fallers and their jockeys were all okay."

His latest run, at Wetherby on Boxing Day, did at least yield some prizemoney — £311 to be precise, for finishing fourth of four.

It was a good day for the yard -stablemate Triona's Hope was third in the same race and picked up £622.

Ted added: "I've put Quixy in some of the worst races there are and he's had atrocious luck. He even got brought down on the flat when I gave him a run over hurdles and he had to be pulled up early once after being hampered.

"He was quite irritated when he came back, as he hadn't had a race.

"He's now 15 but he didn't do a lot as a young horse.

"Quixall's as well as he's ever been and he's always keen to race. He hasn't got an engine as such, but he enjoys jumping round.

"He looks after himself, that's all. He's best when there are just three or four runners.

"He has it in him to win a little race and all he needs is a bit of luck."

If Ted is Quixall's number-one fan, assistant trainer Geoff Sanderson is only a short-head second.

Much of the wit and wisdom on Quixy's website is down to Geoff.

And his efforts were recognised this week when the site won two awards 'Site of the Week' and 'Fan Of The Year' in the Racing Post.

Geoff looks after all the yard's slow old boats like a mother hen — fiercely protective and proud of their lack of achievement.

He said: "Quixy's a winner in my book. And few people realise it, but he's won £10,000 prize-money without getting his nose in front.

"He always jumps soundly, he has never hurt a jockey and he gives hundreds, maybe thousands, of people immense pleasure.

"I'm in touch personally with up to 70 members of the fan club. The vast majority post their newsletters on workplace noticeboards and in social clubs. Work it out for yourself.

"We get approaches from punters asking us to run him at their local track. The courses must love him . . . he puts about 200 on the gate!

"When he finished at Wetherby on Boxing Day the cheer he received was deafening. He thought he had won. And he had a lovely time.

"He was full of himself when he came back in. As long as he stays fit we will keep on running him."

Ask Geoff if Quixy will ever win a race and he replies with tongue firmly in cheek: "He will if I can get him right."

Geoff is the subject of one of the yard's favourite anecdotes.

He was leading Triona's Hope and jockey Gary Lyons out onto the track for a race.

He shouted last-minute instructions: "Look after him and bring him back in one piece."

Lyons replied: "Don't worry, Geoff. I will.

Geoff added: "Do you mind? I wasn't talking to you, I was talking to the horse!"

Ted and Geoff have their work cut out training on the inhospitable Cleveland moors. They employ no staff. Extremes of weather always hit them hard, and excursions to Malton all-weather or to Redcar sands become necessary expeditions to get horses fit.

And it's a family affair. The horses, Quixy included, are owned by Ted's daughter Karen Woodhead.

The white and purple colours were the colours of her hair ribbons as a child.

And Karen's mum Joy prepares the horses for the track.

Geoff said: "She does a fabulous job too, we often win the best-turned-out prize."

Quixall Crossett owes the first part of his name to football.

It comes from Albert Quixall the celebrated Manchester United footballer of the 1950s.

And when Quixy racks up his 100th straight defeat, sometime this season, his legion of fans will surely steal a chant from the beautiful game.

There's only one Quixall Crossett.